9/11

I've often been asked why i wanted to become a police officer. Sheepishly i reply "its what i was born to do"...i suddenly become very aware of how clichéd i sound. What i actually mean is "it's what i've always wanted to do". But once a year i am reminded of the real reason, 9/11.

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On September 11th 2001 i was 15, and yet again had got myself in a lot of trouble. I was in an art lesson and was massively bored. so took to throwing clay at the ample cleavage opposite me. Something that i pride myself on is my cleavage aim, and in a fit of what i can only presume was jealousy (!), the teacher threw me out. As was my habit, i took a walk across the school to chat to the science technicians. They were all gathered around a radio and told me that the twin towers had collapsed. I saw the twin towers only once before then, and that was on the back of a mini cereal box so i had a bit of an ideal how huge they were. A gentle jog back to class and i announced "the twin towers have collapsed"...and got blank faces all round. Everyone has story similar to this, its a moment ingrained on the memory of humanity.

Every year i feel a responsibility to watch the programs about 9/11. These programs are always upsetting, and i actively avoid them other times of the year. But i think its important that i take the time each September to remind myself of those events.

I get 3 distinct feelings when thinking about 9/11. Horror. Pride. and Frustration. The first two are very clear. Horror, because its horrible...Pride, because of how individuals reacted to save others.The the 3rd is really difficult to name. I am frustrated at the lack of control I have, and the lack of control governments have. I am personally frustrated because i feel a responsibility to act, and due to health, distance or qualification i can't do anything. So the best i can do is to keep the memories alive and allow them to be part of my motivation.

Perhaps stupidly i have also watched and read about the conspiracy theories. Having learned about the theories surrounding 9/11, 7/7 and moon landings, i think i have identified a common thread. There is no conspiracy to make these events happen. Conspiracy theorists seize on the behaviour of governments and flimsy evidence.  The evidence is often convincing, but really not conclusive. When looking at the behaviour of governments these theorists are mistaking heavily choreographed political response with government conspiracy. It is fair to say that, for example, some pictures of the moon landing are fake. Not because the landing didn't happen, but because the pictures taken were crap. Apply this logic to other conspiracy theory's, and i think they all fall apart. My advice to governments. turn off your PR machine during humanities most defining moments.